When i first moved to NC i was wearing it like Rhianna did for a while (granted she changes her doo several times a year). It was side swept bangs, and the very short back was spiked. And it suited me. After about a year or so, my friends here kept telling me that i needed to stop spiking it, and would ask, as they flattened it down, what it would look like without product in it. I hate it when people touch my hair. Period. It feels weird to me. Poor Brooks. He likes to sweep it out of my face and it's taken me a good year to not flinch and pull away from him when he does that.
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| August 2011 |
I was picked on a lot in elementary school, and one girl in particular grabbed a hold of my hair and tried to force me to kiss some gross boy behind the wall near the 4-square court. So for me, my hair caused issues and if i had been able to have short hair, she wouldn't have had anything to grab onto. At one point i could sit on it. Crystal Gale's mini-me. *Sigh*
As 2014 begins, i feel i should yack for a bit about this hair issue. I've been told to "step away from the scissors" and let it be. Lets be clear....no one cuts or trims my hair except Adam!! PERIOD!! Including, and especially ME! Adam is brilliant!! He's been the only, and i repeat, ONLY hair stylist I've EVER had who i could tell exactly what i thought and not been afraid of hurting his feelings, or scared of his reaction.
When i started growing my hair out last Christmas, he said to me, "Oh good lord why?!" Why indeed!! Even though i only see Adam every three months or more, he gets me!! I dunno. I guess i felt i needed a change. I'd had basically the same hair style for over 6 years, and i kept hearing people say things like, "What did you look like with long hair?" (go check my FB pics. I have a few on there) or "Why don't you grow it out?" (because I have to deal with it, NOT YOU!!) Ugh. I really shouldn't care what people say....but i figured, lets give it a year (if i lasted that long!) and see what happens.
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| December 2012 Photo credit Krol Photography at www.krols.com |
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| March 2013 |
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| 1 year anniversary, June 2013 |
A few months ago i brought Adam a few pics of what I'd like my hair to be styled like. He's fantastic and is a genius when it comes to my fine hair! And i think that's been the big thing with keeping it short. It looks better short. Long it becomes stringy, and just looks like total shit most of the time because it won't hold a style because it's so fine. So the short style works! And works well!!
After about a good half hour, and him drying, straightening and all that, he turns me around and says, "Well..what do we think?" I just stared in disbelief and said, "I don't like it! Omg! I look like a librarian with boring hair!!" Adam, ever patient, he says, "Ok hun...talk me through it". I proceeded to tell him how boring i thought it looked. All straight and just...BLAH!!! He then reminded me that the summer prior to this "grow out thing" i had a faux-hawk! And it was blue! And it was FUN!! Long hair isn't always super fun like my short hair was. He said i needed to keep that in mind. He then said, "I can try some things and see if we can make it a bit more fun now, or we can wait a week and see if you can live with it for a bit. OR, we can chop it off now and go back to your FUN short hair!!" I think he was hoping for the later, but i didn't want to give in quite yet. So i decided to try to live with it for a while. Back into a pony tail it went. A very tiny, stubby pony tail.
A couple months later i went back in with some different pics. And it turned out great. Well...for grow-out hair anyway. Ugh. I really, REALLY hate it!! It's just not me. I'm uncomfortable with it. Like being uncomfortable in my own skin! Which if anyone knows how that feels...welcome to my world. And please, don't think I'm exaggerating with this. I know it sounds silly to be so upset over hair, but it's the ONE thing in my life that i have total control over (not that I'm a control nut or anything...but it's where i can have a say and it be exactly the way i need it to be).
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| December 2013 |
So I'm sure y'all are asking...."Why don't you just cut it then?! Be done with it and stop bitching!!" Yea, I'm SO with you!! Aside from wanting long hair when we get married (I'm not sure why it matters to me....) here's why i can't cut it yet...i suffer from what my doc says, are anxiety and stress induced hives (which I've started a post about...may post that one this week). And most of them are on my head. Not contagious mind you, but until i can clear up my neck and the back of my head, and NOT be stressed i can't go get it cut. I already worry that people can see them and think i have mange or something. Not the case, but it certainly doesn't help the situation. And no meds help or will clear it up. Nice. Anyway...so that's that. Stuck with this crappy hair until i can de-stress and clear up my poor skin.
