The last time i talked about my hair it was December. I was HATING it. And to be clear, i still don't love it. But i guess it's better now than it was 5 months ago. And I've actually cleared up all my hives, which is awesome! Remember that my doc diagnosed me with stress induced hives or chronic urticaria. He suggested that school was causing me a lot of unneeded stress. As much as i thought otherwise, he was correct. A couple months ago i found out that i can't borrow any more funds to finish school (nice), so I'm done. Mid degree, but i don't have the ability financially to pursue it any longer. While i was really upset about it, it's actually a good thing for me. I feel so....free! It's wonderful! Slightly bored while i look for work with a half of a degree, but all in all, i feel good. And with that, my urticaria has also cleared up! WHOO HOOO!!!!
So that means i can call Adam any day now and have him work his wondrous magic and chop off this mess and put me into something chic that i love! So why haven't i? Thought this is what i wanted? Right? I mean come on! I've been bitching about my stupid hair for over a year now! WHY IS IT STILL LONG?! Good question. I don't know. For real. Maybe because it's taken me a year and a half to even kinda like my hair, and if i cut it now, would i ever try to grow it out again? Cutting it would be giving up, and throwing in the towel. Or maybe because it'll cost a bit to keep up with it once i cut it again, and to do that, I'd really like to have my own income again. When it was short, i had to get it cut every 3 months like clock work. I haven't seen Adam since December. Or because I don't have to wash it or style my hair every day, but every other day. Which is kinda nice. Also i use very little product nowadays. But the down side is that for it to actually look decent and me to wear it down, and not in a pony tail, which doesn't happen that often because it's a HUGE hassle, i have to straighten it. Otherwise it curls in one direction on one side of my face, and in the opposite direction on the other side, and don't even get me started with what it does in the back.
Or maybe I'm still waiting for it to get super long and fabulous like those women in the Pantene commercials. But if I'm being honest...my hair will NEVER look like that. Ever. Like never ever.
Ok, so I'm not cutting it right now. I'm gonna wait. Patience isn't my strong suit so maybe this is my purposeful lesson in it. But I'm still super bored with it. The color is really...so hideous as well. It's what my hair has decided it wants to do right now. I haven't colored it in....i can't remember when, so this is the natural color. It's this sort of blah reddish brown shit that i just really hate! Years ago i realized that my hair changes color on it's own. For real. Like one day i had medium brown boring hair, and the very next day (literally) it was red in places and darker where it was medium the day before. My friend Tanya says i'm a calico. I used to color my hair for consistency purposes. Otherwise i'd have a blond spot (like a literal circle) on one side of my head, and black on another side/spot, brown somewhere else...it was super annoying! Cool i suppose if you can pull it off or if you don't care, but lets face it...that ain't me!
I bought a box of dye in January, but when i got it home, i realized it was way too dark so i took it back to exchange it, but bought vitamins instead. I keep thinking that since summer is coming, maybe lightening it up a bit would be a nice change of pace. My hair has been dark for so long. And I've always liked it dark. Naturally, it's usually very dark brown..until it decides to change it up on it's own. When it was short i used to dye it a blue/black that was super fabulous and i loved it!! But since my hair is in a natural state right now, and much lighter than the blue/black, perhaps it's time for something light and fun.
Here's a pic from a couple weeks ago...
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| See...blah reddish something or other. I don't like it. |
Perhaps a small change is in order. 35 should be fun and i should feel good about myself right? Isn't that the way birthday's are supposed to be? Yes. I agree. A change is comin!
