The Remake of 'Bad'

Today i got Brooks to go through the rest of his boxes and the massive pile of crap that was on our recliner. In the process he found some interesting things. I felt like i needed to be in the garage side of the basement with him, for you know..."moral" support. In truth i was the one who was tossing things into the appropriate boxes or trash can for him since he was stuck in the closet behind the recliner. Haha!

Upon digging through a big massive tote he had full of random items, he handed me some shirts to choose which ones he kept and which ones needed to be tossed. I don't like doing that or being THAT girl, but it's what he wanted. It was like pulling teeth on a stray feral cat to get him to tell me which ones he actually wanted to keep, but we got it done.

One of the items in said tote was an old black leather jacket. It was padded, almost quilted in places, had some sort of buckle type thing on it, (clearly an old biker jacket) and as he handed it to me to put into the box of stuff to keep, he says, "That's a good coat! Glad i found that! It's old!!" I took one look at it and realized it looked quite a bit like the leather jacket Michael Jackson wore in the 'Bad' video. And this is where my story begins....

Me: Oh, so the 80's are back?
Him: NO! It's a good coat!! It's old! I loved that thing!! I'm keeping it!
Me: Oh, ok...... So do you have the single white sparkly glove in there too?
Him: Stop it!!
Me: When will the rest of your posse arrive? Should i expect them for dinner? 
Him: Hey! (then proceeded throwing socks at me)
Me: Where are all the silver buckles and stuff at? Did they fall off?
Him: Woman! (threw more socks)

A few minutes later he pulls out a really cool knife that looks like an old pistol in a holster, complete with chain and shows it to me.

Me: OH!! Look!! You found your chains!! Ok, so when will the remake of the 'Bad' video be taking place? Should i call around to find a location we can rent? 
Him: Really woman? You're gonna mess with me while I'm holding a knife?
Me: Well...I have a valid question. Do you have the boots and leggings to go with the jacket, or are we gonna have to go shopping? 
Him: That's it! (begins looking for more stuff to throw) Crap! I'm out of socks to throw at you! (throws a hat instead)
Me: (singing) Who's baaaad?

At least he's got a good sense of humor about stuff!!

Blending of Stuff; Part II

So the blending of our stuff has been an interesting and eye opening experience! I say eye opening as it's given me a very blunt view of how we both really are. Both pack-rats and both procrastinators. Seems like a perfect blend, doesn't it? Yea, no. Not so much. But at least we understand it from our own perspective. We know things have a story, a back ground, a history in our lives. Most of our stuff is meaningful and neither of us want to toss things that are special. And why should we?

My last long term boyfriend never got it. He was a neat-nick. It made me crazy! He would make me feel bad about all my art supplies (it's not like it was one or two items though. Art supplies are expensive and I'm not about to toss out stuff that I've spent good money on that is still useful!!) and my desk space being a mess (to him anyway. I could find everything i needed...it was organized chaos). He never wanted any of my artwork out where anyone would see it. There were two pieces that he liked and wanted out. But all the rest needed to be boxed up in the garage. It got to the point where it was a big fat thorn in our relationship. So i really appreciate the fact that Brooks has never once said to me, "Umm...why is it necessary for you to have all this mess? Why do you need it? Are you ever going to use it?" Not once! In fact, any time i look like I'm going to toss some sort of artsy thing he says the opposite! And he wants, actually WANTS my artwork out and about in our new place! And it's not because he thinks that's what i want to hear! We've actually had little arguments over some of my work that i hate and he loves!! He wants my crappy paintings to be hung on the walls and hates that i don't want them to be. He wants my sculptures where people will see them and where they will inevitably collect dust. And he's looking forward to me getting back in the studio to create even more works that we'll have on shelves and walls! For real! It's weird. Don't get me wrong, it's nice! It's an awesome feeling, but it's not something I'm at all used to, so it's still a bit unsettling.

At one point before he got this job, i was contemplating selling the White Rabbit and my spine sculpture on e-bay just to have some sort of money available to us. The look on his face was horrendous. He hated that thought and really didn't want me to even consider it. Not that it would have brought in 6 figures or anything, but i felt any funds would have been helpful at the time.

We got the official word yesterday that we get to do the walk through and get our keys this coming Thursday! We couldn't be happier! We are both SO excited it's hard to focus. Which makes the packing process even more difficult. I started packing some of our pictures and doo dads that we have around in our space downstairs yesterday...the box is yet to be fully packed, and i move from box to box without finishing one before getting to the next. Though the walls are a bit more bare now.

It just hit me that we are going to lose pretty much all of Thursday and Friday as time spent packing. Instead we'll be in town and I'll be cleaning, spraying down the new place with spider repellant in case of any hitch-hikers, and putting away a load of boxes on Thursday while Brooks is at work, and Friday i have a doctors appointment and more than likely spend the rest of the day in town again. So that leaves today...and tomorrow packing. TWO DAYS?! THAT'S IT?! OMG!!! So what am i doing instead of packing you ask? Writing this blog post...of course! I feel nauseous when i look at all his stuff that is in piles in the garage and not packed into boxes yet. He's already at work for the day so it's not looking good at this point. I'm overwhelmed. Big time!! 

We've made some headway in the "purging" process, but not as much as i had hoped. Part of the problem I've discovered, isn't that he won't go through his stuff...it's that he really doesn't see that he has much to dig through. I keep finding things. One of my very good friends told me yesterday that i shouldn't allow any boxes into the new place that haven't been sorted. Haha! I thought that was hilarious!

He's funny. He will go through boxes, unpack stuff that he's getting rid of and make all new piles of stuff. Everywhere. I don't even know what to make of it. Is it stuff he's keeping? Is it toss-able? Is it donate-able? WHAT IS IT?! Oh for the love of God, WHAT IS IT??!!!

I'm close with my stuff. Almost. Done. But i still need help to get to the rest of them as they are behind the generator in the shop. And with that scary-ass big black widow still on the loose, i am NOT going in there alone! Nope!! I can't. Physically can not! I feel like I'm going to hyperventilate and die even considering it. So I've kept myself busy. I packed up a lot of stuff in the bathroom today and i keep tossing stuff, which feels good.

This whole process has gotten me thinking...what things do people purge and donate? What things do they keep? What are the requirements to be a "special" item? I'm curious! I'd really like to know. I know people do this stuff...when people move ya kinda have to! Don't you?

My brilliant sister (for real!!) has a process which I've tried to adopt. If she's thinking of getting rid of something, but unsure if she wants to keep it, she'll put it in a box and date the box. When the date arrives, if she hasn't touched the box in that time (usually 6 months to a year) she'll not open the box to even see what's in it, she'll just donate it. No pilfering back in it, just out it goes! I love this idea and have tried to do it. However, since i haven't had access to my crap in quite some time, i can't yet do this with everything. Not to mention the way I've packed in recent moves is so unorganized I've got dishes in with towels and office stuff. Things my grandma gave me in with a box of old bills that need to be burned. It's a mess! But i think it's a great idea!

I've moved mass amounts of boxes of stuff from Oregon and all over Greensboro in the last 5 years. It's been astounding to see all the pidly little crap I've saved and just thrown in boxes to "be looked through later". I'm famous for this! I moved from my first home here in Greensboro to my own apartment. I had 3 friends helping me. I had so many boxes of just random stuff in my living room, my friend Cindy thought for sure i'd be unpacking for weeks. I managed to dig through a big amount of it and figure out pretty quick what was going where the washing machine hook ups went as storage, and what i was actually unpacking and putting away. I don't live out of boxes well! AT! ALL!!!

When i lived with my mom for a few months before trekking across country, i lived out of my suitcase and a few boxes. The day i moved to Greensboro, my movers and i unloaded the stuff into my room in the condo i was sharing with a total stranger, and the rest into storage. My room was floor to ceiling boxes! Literally!! I got home around 4pm from dealing with storage stuff and went to work at unpacking. By 9pm i was done. I had one box left on the floor.  Everything else was put away and organized. Even the empty boxes were tossed into recycling! I just don't live out of boxes well. I can't stand it. So i'm thinking we will more than likely be totally unpacked in a weeks time. Well...actually, all the house stuff and my own stuff by Monday/Tuesday. Brooks' stuff...we'll see how long it takes him to get his stuff put away, before he gets tired of listening to me complain.

I'm now sitting here typing and my brain is a whirl of "WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO? WE HAVE 2 DAYS TO FINISH PACKING! OMG!", yet i am still sitting here at my laptop. Great way to get things done Jules. Really, just brilliant!

Things I'm Gonna Miss About Living in the Country

This move is very bitter-sweet. While we are SO excited about having our own place and getting back to the city, there are things I'll really miss about being way out in the sticks.

First and foremost, I'm gonna really miss Brooks' parents. I know what y'all are thinking..."This girl is NUTS! The in-laws? Really?" Yes REALLY!!! Anyone who thinks this, have clearly never met Brooks Sr. and Sherrie! And truth be told, I've been blessed, like truly blessed with finding, not only a fantastic guy, but a fantastic guy who has really wonderful and amazing parents who actually LIKE me!! I KNOW!!!! 

Sherrie has become a confidant, and easily one of my best friends! She knows it all. And when i say "all" i mean ALL!! When i want to rip my hair out because Brooks is narrating yet another box of crap to me, i go tell her. When i don't feel well because of girly stuff, i tell her. When I'm in tears because the ex-husband has called to make me feel like a miserable human being and driven me to hysterical tears over our son, i turn to her. When i just want to chit chat about whatever...we do that. We have a lot in common which is helpful and really awesome! She's got a great sense of humor and has a shining light from within that i just can't explain. You have to experience it. I'm really going to miss her!!

Brooks' dad, Brooks Sr., I'm gonna miss him too! I'm gonna miss him giving me crap when Brooks says something off the wall and he says, "That's your boy!". I'm gonna miss his tirades about work. And in all honesty, as much as i am disliking the garden right now, i'm gonna miss him telling me i've planted it all wrong and what i should do the next time to make it better. I'm gonna miss his jokes and his stories. And him meandering around the house chewing on his cigar. I'm gonna miss him drinking a beer and telling me how much he loves his wife. Just thinking about it makes me cry. He really does love her more than anything in the world!

It's not like we're never gonna visit! But it's gonna be a big adjustment coming home to an empty and dogless house again.

I'm gonna miss sitting on the porch swing, watching the humming birds dive bomb the feeders. I'm gonna miss the random animals out in the treeline watching us in the dark (that happened the other night and it was a moment of total terrifying magnitude! We think it was a coyote). I'm gonna miss Gypsy (the crotch hound dog) and her incessant barking at nothing at 1 in the morning. I'm gonna miss her always being so happy to see us when we walk up stairs in the morning, even if we were just up there...she acts like it's the first time she's seen us in months! I'm gonna miss all of our really awesome neighbors!! They got pretty lucky when they decided to build this house...they've got cool neighbors! I'm gonna miss the storms out here. They get pretty intense! And even though I'm not a fan of the southern storms, I'm gonna miss them here as opposed to the city. I'm gonna miss the cicadas. They are SUPER loud this time of year and in a big abundance!!

I'm gonna miss our "pet" frogs and lizard. I've become a bit attached to these guys and have named them all...Hippidy Hop is the largest of the frogs, then there's Dimple and Thumper. Brooks can actually tell the difference between the frogs, even if they aren't with the others. He says their markings are all different. Blue is the lizard. I think he had a blue tail at one point. I even have been known to talk to our tail-less lizard while i drink my coffee in the mornings as he's hanging out sunning himself on the log near the door. I'm gonna miss all the fireflies out here. Yes i know they have them in the city, but they are in big abundance out here and are just cool! We don't have them back home so it's neat. I'm gonna miss looking up into the stars at night and actually being able to see them, and watching the meteor showers out here. I'm gonna miss all the wildlife...the rabbits, the deer, the turtles, snakes...all sorts of things, and ya see them all the time! Not like the one bunny in the city you might see all summer, but ALL the time! Daily! All the butterflies! They've been amazing to watch this summer! Just beautiful!! And they are EVERYWHERE!!! We drove down the road the other day and there must have been, easily 75 monarch butterflies on either side of the road. It was so cool driving through a shower of them like that! I wish i had taken pics!

Brooks' family; the aunts, uncle, cousins, papa and his grandma. Both sides of his family live out here. I know we will visit, and it's not like we're 2 hours away or anything, but I've grown quite attached to seeing them fairly regularly too. They're all quite fabulous!! Love those peeps! And I'm beyond thankful that they have welcomed me into the family with such open arms! I know somewhere down the road we'll be heading down the isle together...and I'm trying to figure out how to squish them all INTO the wedding, and which one of them we're gonna call first when we have kids and we all go on our annual camping trip!

I suppose this would be a good time to say what i'm NOT going to miss about being in the country...you know...to be fair.

1) The bugs! First and foremost the bugs! Oh the bugs!! Not like little city bugs. No. In the country they grow them MUCH bigger and they are everywhere!! Big ass crickets, big-enough-to-carry-a-person-out-of-a-room-big!! The water bugs, the cockroaches, the gnats, the flies, the wasps, the BIG HUGE Japanese hornets that are literally the size of my hand, the bore bees, the regular bees...they're all enormous out here! Too big for my liking!!! I damn near had a freakin heart attach this morning when a bumble bee landed on my shirt as i brought Brooks' coffee out to him while he was outside. It landed and i literally started saying "UmOlmGddhdKdlsdhdjfYsliejjlksjlzne!!!!" Which i assume translated to, "OMGGETTHISTHINGOFFMENOWOMG!!!!!" Normally a bumble bee wouldn't bother me, but he was BIG and fuzzy and on the boob of my shirt and did i mention he was big?!

2) The spiders! OH FOR CRAP SAKE THE SPIDERS!!!!!! I have lost count at how many I've made Brooks kill for me! Yes, he will kill for me! He's done it. The daddy long legs aren't the issue unless they encroach on my area. Then they die. But it's the brown and black widows and the wood spiders that i mind and there are just too many out in the country!

3) How a trip to the grocery store is never "quick". It's not THAT far away, but it's a bit. Not like a 5 minute trip. It takes a good 15 to get to the nearest Foodlion!

4) Spending so much on gas getting into Greensboro.

5) The garden. Yes, it was my idea to expand it. Yes, i planted most of it. No, i didn't weed much due to the rains so the weeds took over and i found a massive wood spider in it and haven't really been down there much since. I'm happy to shop the farmers market instead of growing my own for a while.

6) The Kit-ath. This is our made up word for Kitchen/Bathroom. I'm NOT going to miss making coffee in the bathroom. I'm not going to miss microwaving popcorn in the bathroom. And i'm not going to miss washing coffee cups in the bathroom sink either. It'll be nice having separation of space with these two rooms again.

7)  Chiggers. I shouldn't have to explain this one but i will anyway. I got them the other day after i went down to the neighbors to pick black berries. Vicki told me to use bug spray if i went down there. I totally forgot! I got home and i thought the red splotches all over my legs were mosquito bites...as they LOVE me. Nope. Chiggers. Had to hop a quick shower before dinner and then spent a good 20 minutes painting clear nail polish on the spots. I read up on them later and found that they don't actually burrow under your skin and lay eggs. THANK GOD!!!! It's a very common misconception that i was thankful for! They've stopped itching for the most part now, but good lord! I was miserable for a few days!!!

8) Not having service on my cell! This may totally sound like a first world problem, and i suppose it is, but living way out here has made making a phone call or getting a text difficult. We're a ways away from the cell tower apparently and the signal is sparse. Many days when someone does call and leaves either of us a message, it'll take anywhere from 1-6 hours, or sometimes several days to get a message! CRAZY!! When i call Chandler i have to go outside, stand in the middle of the yard, on one foot, with my arm out waving it around like i just don't care, for him to hear me clearly for 5 minutes, then i have to move places and change arms. It gets old. So i definitely won't miss that one!! 

9) Not doing stuff. Being this far out isn't horrible. But it's a drive from Greensboro. Almost an hour. So if Brooks and i want to go to a show (we have a LOT of friends who are in bands we like to see), or go to dinner somewhere other than Cook-Out, we have to drive. Well that's fine and good and not a massive issue really, but if we want to go have a drink with a few friends, one of us has to be a DD. It's a pain in the ass to have to drive that far when we are both tired, one of us is tipsy and we've got an hour in the car. It'll be nice to be within walking distance of a lot of stuff again! Shows and all!!

10) Living an hour away. Seems there are some people who think that because i have a boyfriend I've dropped off the face of the planet and totally forgotten about them, when in reality it's because I DON'T LIVE IN TOWN ANYMORE!!! People don't listen. But i hate that there are a few out there who think it's all his fault that they never see me anymore. HELLO?! We live an hour away! Get over yourself!! 


I think that's it. I'm sure there's more, but this is the list on both sides of the equation. The good and bad. Country vs. City. Ying & Yang. Now, if you'll excuse me...perhaps I'll try and pack another box. Moving day will be upon us sooner than we realize.

Meeting "Him"

Wow, 3 in the same month! I'm impressed with myself!!

This post is the opposite of the last two. No pissy, yet funny story about Brooks narrating boxes of crap to me, or telling y'all about how moving makes me crazy, or anything about today's fiasco of how "downsizing" Brooks crap has SO not gone well and i am less than amused. BUT this is a good story and in re-reading it, it always makes me smile and remember those early days of our union and how awesome it feels to be so in love with such a wonderful man!!  Crap...Here he comes with yet another shirt that there is some story to tell about...GET TO WORK!! Ain't nobody got time fo dat!! Ok...so anyway...here is a good story! Enjoy!

* * *

I really wanted to post this on our one year anniversary last month buuuut...that didn't happen. By June 25th, i had kinda forgotten i even had a blog. Seems that happens with me. This is the 3rd...no, 4th, no...hmm...4th!! 4th blog I've had and the others i can't even find the bookmark on my computer, let alone remember the damn password. But i digress...

Many people have asked how Brooks and i met. And it's a good, albeit, somewhat embarrassing story, but a good story nonetheless. And what's a little embarrassment among...well, strangers? Ok, so i know a few of my friends actually read this, but i was looking at my audience the other day...i don't know anybody who lives in Canada, Switzerland or Peru, but that's where some of my audience is. And thanks for reading btw!! I love that someone out there actually reads this stuff!! It'd be great if i could become one of those bloggers who actually makes money with their tirades and rants about random and useless information!! Seriously! What a fun job!! 

AnyWAY...geez...lets focus Jules!! Sheesh! I think I've had too much sugar today.

Ok, so here it is...meeting "him".

So as I've said, i met the love of my life a little over a year ago at the end of May. I know it sounds like I've lost my damn mind when after just a few short months i spoke of him in this respect, but you just don't get it. Nor do i really care that anyone really "gets" it. It just is!

I had been asked to attend a big camping trip with a bunch of my closest friends. They do it every year. A way to just get out of the city and reconnect and have a blast doing it. It's a long trip though. About 10 days in the middle of nowhere. I was in! I needed a break from the crap in the city and what better way than to spend it with my awesome peeps that i already knew, and meet new friends too!

I was introduced to Brooks the day i arrived. Him and his dad were already set up when my friends Paul and Jody and I arrived. A rain storm hit soon after we got there, which i was caught in while getting beer for everyone. It's just tradition when we camp. Get there and crack open a beer. Screw setting up...just drink to you and everyone else!!

Brooks and his dad (Brooks Sr, or really Jr. My Brooks is the third, but they call him Jr, Jr. Don't get me started on all the nick-names he has!) had joined us all in Paul's mamma-jamma tent we like to call the 'condo'. It's huge!! Plenty of space for all of us sitting in camp chairs, a table and two beds! Plus extra space!! So there we all were. The 5 of us waiting on the rest of our 'tribe' to arrive, drinking beer and waiting out the storm. We all sat around the table talking and having a great time.

Over the course of the next week, Brooks and i didn't really spend a lot of time talking amongst ourselves. We had so many people that we camped with that it was hard to get a moments peace, let alone start something with someone. Or see if there was anything to start.

After we all came home from the trip, i was invited by my friend Paul to attend Brooks' birthday party. I accepted and brought my BBQ baked beans to the party. There were a ton of people there, and a bunch of the campers from the trip, so i knew a lot of people.

As birthday parties go, this was one hell of a party!! I definitely drank my fill! At one point i walked into the house to use the bathroom and there was Brooks with two different whiskey's and a rum. He says "JUUUUULLLLEEEESSSSS!!!!!! YOU need a SHOT!!!" Who was I to deny a request of the birthday boy? I accepted the bottle of cinnamon whiskey, and the honey whiskey to chase it. Another 4 rounds of both and i was goooood!! I returned back outside with our friends.

A while later i came back inside, again to use the bathroom, and ran into his dad. He says to me, "Hey suga!! How you doin? Are you havin fun?" I replied..."Oh yes!!!" Then i started giggling. I said "I have something i should probably tell you...." He asked "What's that suga?" To which i drunkingly replied..."I have a bit of a crush on your son". It was true. I hadn't stopped thinking about him since we left camp two weeks before. To my delight he was more than happy! He said "REALLY?! Ohhh!!!! You should tell him!! Oh wait! You should tell Sherrie!! (Brooks' mom!)" I kinda freaked out and said "NOOO!!!! I don't wanna tell mom!! Shhhh!!!!" He called her over to our side of the counter. She says to me "How you doin sweetie? You havin fun?" I told her i was. Then Brooks Sr says "Sherrie...she has something she needs to tell you". "Oh, what's that?" *sigh* to which i replied..."I have a bit of a crush on your son". To my relief she was ok with that knowledge!! She said "YOU DO?!!!! OH MY GOSH!!! He's single you know? Oh!! You have to tell him!! He's downstairs! Go!! GO tell him!!" So off i drunkingly went...to tell my crush how i felt.

In my defense, he nor i remembered the conversation until several weeks later. And truth be told that we finally remembered how i wound up becoming a pile of rocks in the driveway about a month later. I had gone downstairs to tell him how i felt. He told me he felt the same and we were kissing. Our friend Ginny had come in to use the bathroom and we went outside, we think to go back up to the party in the front yard. He went to his truck and i went up the driveway to join our friends. I never made it. I decided to lay in the road instead. Ginny and Paul found me later and with Lou-Ann's help got me sitting upright again. Brooks went inside and fell asleep face-down in a chair. Lou-Ann and Paul got me to my tent and a few moments later i got back up to use the bathroom inside. I saw Brooks and covered him up with my sleeping bag that i had wrapped around me. When i came out a few moments later i sat next to him and took off his flip flops that he was still wearing. I remember thinking how mean it was to uncover him, so i sat there for a moment thinking, and trying to figure out if i had a sweatshirt or something else i could use in loo of my sleeping bag. The next thing we both knew it was morning. I had slept on the chair with him (it's a big chair). We had no recollection of all of the things that went on until weeks later. Now we laugh about it. There was a good deal of "talk" amongst our friends about what really happened! Much to their disappointment I'm sure, since neither of us are like that.

After the party and after I went home it took me a few days to friend request him on Facebook. After i sat with our friend Derrick and talked to him for a bit about it. I liked him. I was interested in finding out more about him and seeing if we had enough in common to pursue a possible relationship and I wanted to see if he wasn't just another guy out there who wanted a notch on his belt. Derrick encouraged it. He told me to ask him for his number. Tell him how i felt. He didn't think that Brooks would do it himself. So i went home. And i messaged him.

The message hit his phone while he was at a Government Mule concert for his birthday. In my message i was quick to the point. Though my nerves definitely had gotten to me...which i did state in the message. I told him that i liked him, but if he felt i wasn't his cup of tea no hard feelings and I'm sure I'd see him again at some point, where we could both laugh about it. His reply came the next day. He gave me his number, said he thought i was a lot of fun to hang out with and that I'd been on his mind since his birthday party.

Well that was that! I called him that night and we talked for almost 2 hours. We never ran out of things to talk about. There was never an awkward silence.

When i got off the phone with him, I texted my best friend and said i was sorry i was just now getting back to her but i had been on the phone for the last 2 hours. She asked who i was talking to. My reply, "My future husband". :)

And a little over a year later, here we are. It's been quite a year! As you can tell from some of my posts. But it's been awesome and we are both so happy and so in love! Some days i literally pinch myself! Like really.  I often wonder where in the world he came from and how i got so lucky to find him!! And he'll bring that up too. He'll talk about how me being from Oregon and he's from NC and how we met via our best friends, and what a small world it really is. He thinks I'm the cat's meow. But for me...well...he hung the moon!

Blending of Stuff; Part I

7 days from now we will be in our new place! Well...we think anyway. Our landlord...Bob? John? Nooo....whats-his-face??...Oh right, BILL! Bill said he'll more than likely be starting the turning over on Monday and as long as there isn't any BIG MASSIVE horrible mess in there, which there shouldn't be...the girl looked fairly tidy, we should be moving in on Saturday! YAY!!!

We still aren't done downsizing our crap. Most of my shit is done. I have a few more boxes to go through that i need help to get to as there are big nasty black widows out in the shop. I'm not kidding either! I have pics to prove it!! But the rest is done. It's either repacked, downsized, ready for donating, tossed in the trash or into the burn barrel out back. Brooks on the other hand...he's slow. He's a procrastinator and a bit of a pack rat. Not a good combo. Yet, it's a combo we both share. Sadly i am the same way. I'll put crap off until the very last minute a lot of times because i just dread doing it. But we really don't have that ability this time.

Tomorrow will be it though as far as time he'll have this week to get it done, so it may be ugly, but at least his stuff will be finished. I made him get rid of ONE of the George Foreman grills he had and his little toaster, as mine is pretty bad-ass and black and stainless...not white. It was like pulling teeth to get him to toss out anything! I wasn't hovering over him or anything, but just trying to get him to down size SOMETHING!!! We gotta take most of our crap with us and i really REALLY don't want to move a box of crap we're just gonna toss out. That makes no sense and I've done that for the last 5 years. DONE!! Not to mention, when we moved him from the beach in November, i was the one packing stuff as the guys moved stuff out, and at one point, i was just tossing crap in a box. It didn't matter that there was an entire box of socks that he never wore (a box he had never unpacked when he moved down there mind you), or a box of t-shirts and coffee cups and office supplies. We were in a hurry, so i did what i could with what little time and few boxes we had.

So a week or so ago we hit his stuff. I wanted to rip my own hair out. Literally every box he opened he found stuff to talk about in it. He narated the box. It went something like this....

Brooks: Oh wow! Honey look at this! I haven't see this (insert some old thing here) in forever! Check it out!
Me: Uh hu. Cool! (i was packing up art supplies)
Brooks: No, you're not looking! LOOK!!! I got this when i was (insert random age of childhood here)
Me: I see honey. Very nice. (still packing stuff...)
Brooks: LOOK!!!!!
Me: I am looking...are you keeping it? (I never stopped working...)
Brooks: Ummm....i dunno. Maybe.....hmmm......
Me: Ok, well keep going then. Think on it. (Grabbed another box, kept packing...)
Brooks, upon digging into another box: HONEY!! OMG!! Check it out! Omg, look at this shirt!!
Me: Yes, i see that. Cool.
Brooks: (Insert story of shirt here).
Me: Uh hu. (finished packing my art stuff, moved on to cleaning his donation stuff)
Brooks: Yea...i guess i'm gonna toss these. I don't need them and clearly never wear them, and hey...did i ever tell you when i got this shirt.....(insert rest of long story about a shirt here).

I wanted to rip my hair out! It was like watching a little kid clean his room. Every box had some old thing in it that had a meaningful and deep story attached to it. While i do understand that people have memories and stories regarding stuff...(believe me, i am one of those people!) we are on a very tight timeline. We don't have time for him to explain to me about where and who the whatever it is came from. We don't have the time!! Plus, every time he talked about something and told a story...he pretty much stopped working. Talk and work, talk and work, talk and work.....

The next day i went out to the shop to work on more of my stuff. He was at the burn barrel near where i was working. In fact, he had a view of me working away. I had an hour until i had to go inside and start cleaning (i had a tight schedule that day). In an hour, i showed him 2 things (mostly because one was a pair of diamond earrings i thought I'd lost a long time ago, at the bottom of a box of shit i almost tossed in the trash!), and downsized 10+ boxes, had 3 more boxes of donations, tossed a massive bag and a giant box of trash out, and hauled 3 boxes of crap to burn. I was impressed with myself!! That was in an hour!!

He keeps thinking that he's all done. Just because you can't see a box of crap to go through, doesn't mean it's fine to leave alone. And now we have to find his birth certificate on top of downsizing stuff...so I'll help him look for that. His mom says i should just do it. It might be better. However, i know how i would feel if he was going through my stuff and tossed something i wanted to keep. So I'm not doing it. I keep telling him...it's a two way street. We both have to give up some stuff and get rid of stuff in this move. It's fair. I'm not gonna toss out all my crap and him give up a damn toaster. Which reminds me, he looked like a kid saying goodbye to a beloved pet when i suggested we use my toaster instead. He said, in a pitiful Eeyore voice, "But...but it's a good toaster". "Yes honey, I'm sure it's a great toaster! But if our kitchen is gonna be orange and blue (i hear scoffing as y'all read this! They're really pretty together, as blue and orange are complimentary colors thank you very much!) and black...wouldn't the black one be better to keep?" He turned away and went back to narrating the next box of stuff.

A Place Called Home

Good lord! February? Really? That was the last blog entry i had?? WOW!!! Well...whatever. I've been busy. I'll get over it, i suggest you try to too.

So...things have been interesting over the last 5-ish months. We both lost our unemployment benefits. Which REALLY sucks. Not that i need to explain that one, but for those of you lucky people out in the world who haven't experienced anything terrible with this bullshit economy we are in, let me just say...it BLOWS CHUNKS OF MASSIVE STICKY CRAP!!!!!! Let that image sink into your head a moment. I'll wait.....

......

Ok, now that that lovely image is right in the forefront of your mind, I'll continue.

I've talked to a good many MANY people who have been laid off, like the two of us have, who have no savings left, no family to help, nothing (And I will forever be thankful and grateful to Brooks' awesome parents for helping us the way they have!! They are really two of the greatest people!). Anyway...back to my rantings....The feds absorbed what was left of Brooks' funds. Nice. At this time, I'd like to offer a gigantic peeve that i have with people as of late...ahem....those people who say to us or just say in a general-matter-of-fact-way "Why don't these people just get a job?" REALLY?! I never thought of that shit!! Let me just scurry on over to the Job-town, and go to the job-tree and pluck an awesome paying job, right off it's joby-leaves!! Fuck you!! Times suck right now!! Businesses are closing and downsizing left and right. And it's not like we haven't been trying! In the last 6 months alone I've put in over 1000 resume/applications for ANYTHING! McDonald's, gas stations, restaurants, dog grooming, Wal-Mart...you name it, I've applied for it! It's not like i can force someone to call me and hire me!! This is what those employed lucky people think!! And honestly...I'm tired of dealing with it. One job opening will get anywhere from 100-1000 applications! Go search that shit! Because it's true!!

I had an interview i was SURE i would land a few weeks ago. It was for a very prosperous grocery store in town. It was for their Store Artist position. I borrowed money to put together mini portfolios of my work, printing off a few of my pieces in color along with a better rendition of my resume, folding mini folders to put these in, trimming the edges, gluing the fronts and putting a name tag on them, for 10 people on the "panel" of interviewers. I hadn't left the store 10 minutes, before they called to tell me i didn't get the position and they had gone with someone who, quote, "has more experience". I'm not sure with what exactly, as I've got LOADS of graphic experience, but whatever. Their loss. But as i cried for several days after that, i went back to my "everything happens for a reason" thoughts. I kept thinking IF i had gotten that job, i would have probably quit school as it was full time and hard to work my classes around, no matter what i told others and myself. I would have had to quit. Then i wouldn't be working on my ceramics and focusing on becoming a ceramic/sculpture artist-rock-star. So...there is that. My shining light. Apparently I've finally found something I'm supposed to be doing. And I'm excited to get back into the studio again and working on not only building my artsy portfolio of real, tangible, able to throw at someone, work, but other sell-able work. Not something that, if-you-print-it-and-fold-into-an-origami-frog-or-paper-air-plane-you-can-throw-into-the-air work. But real work.

Things are starting to FINALLY turn around for us. Brooks is days away from starting back to work. OH THANK YIA JEZUS!!!!! (Seriously!!) And we just put down a deposit on a place near campus!! WHOOHOOO!!!!! I've never been so excited!! There are levels to my excitement! This will be our FIRST place together. Well i know we've been living together for almost a year, but since we've been at his parents house, it's not "our" place. You know? So, this is exciting stuff! Our very own place!! And it's right around the corner from my adoptive dad's house, and right down the street from our favorite little bar and a multitude of friends who hang out there, ANNNND right down the street from school! So there ya go! My little nutshell of utter happiness!!

So now is the time that we will be digging through all of our crap and tossing, donating, perhaps selling (I'm selling my truck, but i didn't have to dig in a box to do it), and merging the stuff. Oh happy days!! For you couples out there who have been through this...it ain't easy. And in a very big way, i feel bad for Brooks. Now i know what you are thinking...'This bitch is gonna make him get rid of all his stuff!! What about the x-box man? NOT THE X-BOX!!!!' No. I'm not THAT girl. I'm the awesome girl friend who got him a video game he'd been wanting for Christmas. Remember? I'm just suggesting how to fit stuff into the apartment. Ok, so it's small. It's a 1 bedroom. The kitchen is big, which is good because we both like to cook! The living room has some space and it'll be interesting to see how to smoosh a seating/TV area AND a desky/officey area into it. The girl who lives there now does it, and I've been thinking about it since we left there yesterday afternoon. I think i have it! But he's stubborn and is insisting we don't have enough room to do what I'm suggesting, nor do we have enough room in the kitchen/dinning for the dinning room table. But here is where my ultra-girl skills come in handy! I KNOW HOW TO LIVE AND DECORATE FOR SMALL SPACES!!!!!!!!!!! I used to be addicted to those home magazines that talk about painting, decorating, down sizing, expanding...etc. Even though i don't have many printed issues any longer, i can find links!! I've done it!! Been there, done that. And I'm sorry to throw the vag card...but I'm a girl. It's in the blood for a lot of us. We just...do this type of thing better.

He thinks we live in a small beer box. Not the 24 case of beer mind you, but the 6 pack of the tiniest midget beer available on the market today! Until we get to the bedroom and all of a sudden we live in a pallet sized beer box with streamers coming out of both ends and a sparkly ball hanging from the ceiling with 50 people dancing the night away in there. This is where my stubbornness comes to play...the bedroom is NOT that big!! And it's not going to fit his bed frame (that we already said would go into a spare room when we get a bigger place) with much room to spare. Of course part of this is that WE ALREADY DISCUSSED THIS!!! I am saying, that when couples move in together they merge, purge and buy new stuff together. Am i right?  And I'm not saying to get rid of the 4 poster bed and dresser!! NO!!! They are beautiful pieces. It's just not....me. It's very much an antique. Nothing wrong with that at all!! I love antiques! But I've got a very modern side and a bedroom should be an oasis for a couple. Somewhere that both people can be happy. I'm happy to go to a B & B up in Vermont...but i don't really want to take it home with me. And i wouldn't expect him to put his stuff in the guest room and we go use my stuff. I don't think my stuff is him either. Hell, it's not really ME!!

We had this whole conversation when we went to Ikea in January. In the bed section i remember specifically...i pointed out a cool bed frame that had drawers under it, no foot board but it had a head board. It was a dark, almost black wood. I said..."What if we get something like this?" He says in a pitiful Eeyore manner, "What about my frame?" Ugh. We had this discussion when we talked about moving in together and we "compromised" on the bed. We went with his mattress because if i have to hear about the fancy schmancy, individually wrapped coils, and how ya can't turn the damn thing sideways for longer than 4 minutes 30 seconds, $1500 mattress one more time i will rip out my hair! And we went with my bedding for now...until we can afford new stuff that WE pick out TO-GETH-ERRRRRR. But when it came to the frame, we were gonna look for one we BOTH LIKED. COM-PRO-MISE. 

.......

It's funny what a difference a year makes. Hell...a month for us makes a world of difference! At the end of the day i don't care. I don't care if we have no space and are falling over boxes and can't find the hand soap. I don't care if his massive, so-not-me-old-lady-bed-frame comes with us. I don't care if we have to put the two dressers in the living room behind the couch and you have to jump over them to get into the kitchen. I don't care if we have 3 coffee makers, 2 microwaves and 2 George Foreman Grills (both his btw). I don't care that nothing matches and our "blending of stuff" didn't go so well. At the end of that maze from the door to the kitchen and the blocked doors to the bathroom, we have our own place. Him. Me. Us.