A Place Called Home

Good lord! February? Really? That was the last blog entry i had?? WOW!!! Well...whatever. I've been busy. I'll get over it, i suggest you try to too.

So...things have been interesting over the last 5-ish months. We both lost our unemployment benefits. Which REALLY sucks. Not that i need to explain that one, but for those of you lucky people out in the world who haven't experienced anything terrible with this bullshit economy we are in, let me just say...it BLOWS CHUNKS OF MASSIVE STICKY CRAP!!!!!! Let that image sink into your head a moment. I'll wait.....

......

Ok, now that that lovely image is right in the forefront of your mind, I'll continue.

I've talked to a good many MANY people who have been laid off, like the two of us have, who have no savings left, no family to help, nothing (And I will forever be thankful and grateful to Brooks' awesome parents for helping us the way they have!! They are really two of the greatest people!). Anyway...back to my rantings....The feds absorbed what was left of Brooks' funds. Nice. At this time, I'd like to offer a gigantic peeve that i have with people as of late...ahem....those people who say to us or just say in a general-matter-of-fact-way "Why don't these people just get a job?" REALLY?! I never thought of that shit!! Let me just scurry on over to the Job-town, and go to the job-tree and pluck an awesome paying job, right off it's joby-leaves!! Fuck you!! Times suck right now!! Businesses are closing and downsizing left and right. And it's not like we haven't been trying! In the last 6 months alone I've put in over 1000 resume/applications for ANYTHING! McDonald's, gas stations, restaurants, dog grooming, Wal-Mart...you name it, I've applied for it! It's not like i can force someone to call me and hire me!! This is what those employed lucky people think!! And honestly...I'm tired of dealing with it. One job opening will get anywhere from 100-1000 applications! Go search that shit! Because it's true!!

I had an interview i was SURE i would land a few weeks ago. It was for a very prosperous grocery store in town. It was for their Store Artist position. I borrowed money to put together mini portfolios of my work, printing off a few of my pieces in color along with a better rendition of my resume, folding mini folders to put these in, trimming the edges, gluing the fronts and putting a name tag on them, for 10 people on the "panel" of interviewers. I hadn't left the store 10 minutes, before they called to tell me i didn't get the position and they had gone with someone who, quote, "has more experience". I'm not sure with what exactly, as I've got LOADS of graphic experience, but whatever. Their loss. But as i cried for several days after that, i went back to my "everything happens for a reason" thoughts. I kept thinking IF i had gotten that job, i would have probably quit school as it was full time and hard to work my classes around, no matter what i told others and myself. I would have had to quit. Then i wouldn't be working on my ceramics and focusing on becoming a ceramic/sculpture artist-rock-star. So...there is that. My shining light. Apparently I've finally found something I'm supposed to be doing. And I'm excited to get back into the studio again and working on not only building my artsy portfolio of real, tangible, able to throw at someone, work, but other sell-able work. Not something that, if-you-print-it-and-fold-into-an-origami-frog-or-paper-air-plane-you-can-throw-into-the-air work. But real work.

Things are starting to FINALLY turn around for us. Brooks is days away from starting back to work. OH THANK YIA JEZUS!!!!! (Seriously!!) And we just put down a deposit on a place near campus!! WHOOHOOO!!!!! I've never been so excited!! There are levels to my excitement! This will be our FIRST place together. Well i know we've been living together for almost a year, but since we've been at his parents house, it's not "our" place. You know? So, this is exciting stuff! Our very own place!! And it's right around the corner from my adoptive dad's house, and right down the street from our favorite little bar and a multitude of friends who hang out there, ANNNND right down the street from school! So there ya go! My little nutshell of utter happiness!!

So now is the time that we will be digging through all of our crap and tossing, donating, perhaps selling (I'm selling my truck, but i didn't have to dig in a box to do it), and merging the stuff. Oh happy days!! For you couples out there who have been through this...it ain't easy. And in a very big way, i feel bad for Brooks. Now i know what you are thinking...'This bitch is gonna make him get rid of all his stuff!! What about the x-box man? NOT THE X-BOX!!!!' No. I'm not THAT girl. I'm the awesome girl friend who got him a video game he'd been wanting for Christmas. Remember? I'm just suggesting how to fit stuff into the apartment. Ok, so it's small. It's a 1 bedroom. The kitchen is big, which is good because we both like to cook! The living room has some space and it'll be interesting to see how to smoosh a seating/TV area AND a desky/officey area into it. The girl who lives there now does it, and I've been thinking about it since we left there yesterday afternoon. I think i have it! But he's stubborn and is insisting we don't have enough room to do what I'm suggesting, nor do we have enough room in the kitchen/dinning for the dinning room table. But here is where my ultra-girl skills come in handy! I KNOW HOW TO LIVE AND DECORATE FOR SMALL SPACES!!!!!!!!!!! I used to be addicted to those home magazines that talk about painting, decorating, down sizing, expanding...etc. Even though i don't have many printed issues any longer, i can find links!! I've done it!! Been there, done that. And I'm sorry to throw the vag card...but I'm a girl. It's in the blood for a lot of us. We just...do this type of thing better.

He thinks we live in a small beer box. Not the 24 case of beer mind you, but the 6 pack of the tiniest midget beer available on the market today! Until we get to the bedroom and all of a sudden we live in a pallet sized beer box with streamers coming out of both ends and a sparkly ball hanging from the ceiling with 50 people dancing the night away in there. This is where my stubbornness comes to play...the bedroom is NOT that big!! And it's not going to fit his bed frame (that we already said would go into a spare room when we get a bigger place) with much room to spare. Of course part of this is that WE ALREADY DISCUSSED THIS!!! I am saying, that when couples move in together they merge, purge and buy new stuff together. Am i right?  And I'm not saying to get rid of the 4 poster bed and dresser!! NO!!! They are beautiful pieces. It's just not....me. It's very much an antique. Nothing wrong with that at all!! I love antiques! But I've got a very modern side and a bedroom should be an oasis for a couple. Somewhere that both people can be happy. I'm happy to go to a B & B up in Vermont...but i don't really want to take it home with me. And i wouldn't expect him to put his stuff in the guest room and we go use my stuff. I don't think my stuff is him either. Hell, it's not really ME!!

We had this whole conversation when we went to Ikea in January. In the bed section i remember specifically...i pointed out a cool bed frame that had drawers under it, no foot board but it had a head board. It was a dark, almost black wood. I said..."What if we get something like this?" He says in a pitiful Eeyore manner, "What about my frame?" Ugh. We had this discussion when we talked about moving in together and we "compromised" on the bed. We went with his mattress because if i have to hear about the fancy schmancy, individually wrapped coils, and how ya can't turn the damn thing sideways for longer than 4 minutes 30 seconds, $1500 mattress one more time i will rip out my hair! And we went with my bedding for now...until we can afford new stuff that WE pick out TO-GETH-ERRRRRR. But when it came to the frame, we were gonna look for one we BOTH LIKED. COM-PRO-MISE. 

.......

It's funny what a difference a year makes. Hell...a month for us makes a world of difference! At the end of the day i don't care. I don't care if we have no space and are falling over boxes and can't find the hand soap. I don't care if his massive, so-not-me-old-lady-bed-frame comes with us. I don't care if we have to put the two dressers in the living room behind the couch and you have to jump over them to get into the kitchen. I don't care if we have 3 coffee makers, 2 microwaves and 2 George Foreman Grills (both his btw). I don't care that nothing matches and our "blending of stuff" didn't go so well. At the end of that maze from the door to the kitchen and the blocked doors to the bathroom, we have our own place. Him. Me. Us.