Before i could even finish the second cup of Joe, my phone rang. It was the gal i had interviewed with last week. I didn't even think about the fact that it could go one of two ways...either good news or bad, i just answered.
* * *
I interviewed with a company last week at a "sip and paint" studio. Even JUST getting an interview felt WONDERFUL!! I've been unemployed 4 years this July. And not because i "want " to be. But because now that we live in a smaller town without public transit and only have one vehicle, my options are very limited. I didn't give up though. I applied to every job there was!! Gas stations, donut shops, places at the mall (gulp!!), Target and even Walmart. Each resume or application i sent out would give me one of two things; A) no response or B) a response telling me that i was "overqualified". How can you be overqualified to work at freakin Walmart?! I was starting to really get down on myself. I hadn't gotten an interview in nearly 3 years, and it was certainly affecting my spirit. I had my little Etsy shop, but since it's primarily based around the holidays, it's not something that brings in a real income. Nothing dependable anyway. Granted i LOVE it, but i needed more. I needed to feel better about myself! I wanted a job for ME!! Something i could be proud of. Pay taxes, and help with bills. I wanted to be able to buy Brooks a birthday present with money i earned instead of taking out of our account. Simple really.
So i had a plan! I was going to get my insurance license so i could go back to work. Perhaps it wasn't something I'd always wanted to do. Perhaps it wasn't my dream job by any means, but it was a solid plan! And i was looking forward to the day where i had a good job again. Then that balloon busted. I found out aside from the class i had to take that was $260, i had the exam, licensing, finger printing and processing fees to pay for. That would be another $300!! There was no way we could afford that! Brooks and i discussed it and decided that we could save that money perhaps over the next year, and try again next summer. I was bummed out. That was my only plan. And now i had no plan. The backup plan was really far away and i felt i needed to go back to work now!! I was beyond ready! Something had to give soon, right?
Then it got worse. A little over a month ago, a family member-to-be posted a really horrible comment to a post of mine on FB. This person got very brave behind their keyboard and i said later that I'd bet money that they wouldn't have ever said that crap to my face! The gist of the comment was that i needed to "get a life" and how i clearly had "no life" due to all the "bullshit" i post constantly, and why didn't i "get a job and get off your ass"! To say i was devastated is an understatement. I was SO hurt i burst into tears and had a bit of a panic attack over it. Then the next day this person's other immediate relative posted a comment that said they "love when someone who isn't a contributing member of society likes to have an opinion on society". To say that was a burn is also a vast understatement. It was below the belt! WAY below!! Hey pot? Guess what? YOU'RE BLACK!!
It took me a few weeks to move past the sadness and hurt before i felt angry about it. Who the hell did they think they were to say that? And if anyone wanted to be upset about my 4 years of unemployment, Brooks is the ONLY one who could. And guess what? He wasn't! They didn't know our situation! Not to mention, it's not like they were much of "contributing member of society" either! Oh if i could only share the whole story!! But i won't. I don't want to be charged with slander.
At that point i was at a new low point. I wanted so much to go back to work, but due to my half of a degree with UNCG and my associates in Graphic Design and those jobs are SUPER competitive, i just felt like it would never change. Which is why i had planned to get my insurance license. It would have been a career that i could always find a job with, had benefits, good pay. I felt like it would be good, perhaps not the best fit for me since i am not a big phone person, but I'd suck it up and do what was necessary as i was out of options. So after that didn't work out, then the FB debacle, i was pretty bummed out. And it was becoming very apparent.
Brooks and i went to this restaurant at the beginning of July with some friends, and we bought one of their really awesome t-shirts for a few bucks. He wore it one day as we said we'd share it. So the day he wore it for the first time a few weeks ago, I poked a little fun and said "Hey! You're wearing my shirt" and he jokingly replied, "Well i figure...I bought it" I damn near burst into tears. The look on my face apparently was pretty horrendous and he felt terrible! Before the FB crap it wouldn't have bothered me, but i was SO overly sensitive now that it wasn't even funny. I knew it. He knew it. And sadly there wasn't anything either of us could really do about it. Just wait for it to hopefully pass.
A week or so later i was online and decided to go check out what was in the Craigslist job postings. Never found much, but i figured ya never know. Low and behold i found a position that was pretty perfect for me. It was for a sip and paint art studio and they were looking for an art instructor and for creative assistants. I figured I'd apply for both and see what happened. I sent in a few samples of my work, my fancy artsy resume, actually wrote a new cover letter (which i hate doing), and clicked send. Later the next day i received an email from the gal who owned the studio asking to please fill out their online applications. I felt that was a good sign since no one ever emailed me about anything like that before!! But i wasn't holding my breath.
The following week i got a call from her asking me to come in for an interview!! SCORE!! I was SO thrilled about just that part i could hardly contain myself!! I was going to be positive no matter what! I felt that even (worst case scenario) if i didn't get the position, at least i got an interview! And that was more than i've gotten in 3 years! So off i went!
The interview went great, even though i walked into the door of the office on my way out (KLUTZ much?!), and they sent me onto the phone interview with their partner and artist who runs their New Jersey studio. I was much more nervous about that one than i was with the face to face interview, but it went well. The gal up north was just as nice as the folks here. And i enjoyed the conversation and info from her.
Today when the phone rang i didn't stop to think about not getting the job. I didn't think about how devastated i might be if the news wasn't good. I just answered. I'll thank the lack of caffeine for once on that one.
"Hello?" I said in my most cheery morning voice. And yes, that does take work. ;)
"Hi Juliana! I'd like to offer you the position of art instructor!"
I held in the screaming that was in my head and thanked her! She and i chatted about what to do next week with paperwork and official opening of the studio. I pressed the 'end call' button on my phone and briefly looked at it to make sure it was indeed 'off' before i bellowed out into happy profanities and ridiculous dancing in the living room!! Then i texted Brooks before i posted to FB or texted or called anyone else. I wanted him to know first!
* * *
I literally feel like I'm on top of the freakin world right now!! Today's been an AWESOME day!! I feel like I've accomplished something! Like i could take on a bear and win!!! Like Jack standing on the bow of the Titanic with his arms stretched wide!!
I want to tell those nasty people who made such ugly comments to SUCK IT! But I've already given them too much power over my feelings, and this, this immense piece of wonderfulness is MINE! I've shared with my true friends & family and for ALL of their positivity, encouragement and good vibes and prayers, i am SO grateful! If the heart wasn't able to contain so much gratitude and happiness, i am sure it would have exploded by now! Certainly glad it can! Because my heart is BURSTING!!!!! If we could afford it, I'd buy myself flowers!! :)
Though only part-time, it's doing what i love! Doing what I'm GOOD at!! And doing what I'm passionate about! How many people can say that about their jobs? I really wish more could! I feel like the luckiest girl in the world right now!! Like i just hit the lottery!! And like I'm finally on the path that I'm truly meant for!!
No comments:
Post a Comment